Shia Labeouf And Giant Robots

Transformers

More than meets the eye

Transformers

Robots in disguise

Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of...

THE DECEPTICONS.

OMFG SPOILER WARNING!!1!!1!

Snape kills Dumbledore!

Sephiroth kills Aeris!

Anyways...

Yeah, I just saw Transformers. It was AWESOME.

First off, it had the best special effects EVER. I swear, it was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. You have to see this in the theater.

Second: It had the best quotes this side of Snakes on a Plane. Honestly.

"It's a robot... y'know, like a super-advanced robot... it's probably Japanese..."

Little girl talking to Ironhide: "Are you the tooth fairy?"

"If it's a super-advanced robot, why does it turn back into a piece of crap Camaro?"

"I want to ride you home... I mean, I want to give you a ride home."

"Bumblebee, stop lubricating on that man!"

Jazz: "You want a piece of me, Megatron?"

Megatron: "No... I want TWO!"
(Megatron rips Jazz in half. The black guy ALWAYS dies."

(Barricade slams Shia Labeouf onto a car and whips out his blades.)

"ARE YOU USER LADIESMAN217!?!?!?"

Army Man 1: "Where's your wallet!?"

Army Man 2: "POCKET!!!"

Army Man 1: "Which pocket!?"

Army Man 2: "MY BACK POCKET!!!"

Army Man 1: "You've got ten back pockets!"

Army Man 2: "LEFT CHEEK! LEFT CHEEK! LEFT CHEEK!"

There were some drawbacks, though. First was that the Decepticons didn't learn English until the end of the movie and just made annoying noises to communicate.

Second was that it used every action movie cliche. Oh well.

Third was that Bumblebee couldn't talk, and just used the radio. Annoying.

Fourth was that nothing obeyed the Law of Conservation of Mass. A Camaro turning into a 30-foot tall robot? A robot head the size of a melon turning into a cell phone? A 100 cubic foot box transforming into a 1 cubic foot box? Didn't make much sense, but it looked awesome, so I don't care.

(It's animated. Click on it.)

God, that better not be copyright infringement.

P.S. Ironhide is the Tooth Fairy. Pass it on, bitches.

P.S.S. Happy 7/7/07, you sick fucks. You know who you are. That song and dancing girl are now forever imprinted on my brain. Thanks a lot.

Help Control The Redneck Population. Spay And Neuter Your Redneck Today.

Okay, I'm all for libertarianism and freedom and shit, but lets be honest: Some people should not be allowed to have kids.

Just visit this blog and you'll see some examples of what I mean.

bbcamerican.blogspot.com

Just terrible.

To quote NOFX, "Why are all the stupid people breeding?"

I honestly think that there should be parenting tests. If the couple's combined I.Q. is lower than 160, you don't get a baby license and you're not allowed to breed. I'm not joking. I would actually be in favor of this becoming law. We don't need more rednecks. When I look at Larry the Cable Guy, I cry a little inside. I honestly might leave the country if they take over. More than they already have, I mean.

Rednecks are tools. They are pawns in the most successful conspiracy in American history. The modern Republican party.

They created an us-and-them, homogenization, follow-the-leader mentality. Then, they pushed a common religion. Conveniently, this religion is anti-birth control. Meaning, the mindless sheep are gonna have kids who will become mindless sheep. They're just gonna outbreed the rest of us until it becomes completely majority rule.

That's even more dastardly than the Transformers plot.

1. Create line of toys with so many moving parts that they're guaranteed to break so you have to buy a new one.

2. Create a television series to advertise for the toys.

3. Introduce new characters in the show so you can sell their toys.

4. Wait until the children who watched the show and bought the toys have grown up, and then release an action-packed nostalgia fest.

5. ????

6. Profit!