Saturday, July 7, 2007

Shia Labeouf And Giant Robots



Transformers

More than meets the eye

Transformers

Robots in disguise

Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of...

THE DECEPTICONS.

OMFG SPOILER WARNING!!1!!1!

Snape kills Dumbledore!

Sephiroth kills Aeris!

Anyways...

Yeah, I just saw Transformers. It was AWESOME.

First off, it had the best special effects EVER. I swear, it was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. You have to see this in the theater.

Second: It had the best quotes this side of Snakes on a Plane. Honestly.

"It's a robot... y'know, like a super-advanced robot... it's probably Japanese..."

Little girl talking to Ironhide: "Are you the tooth fairy?"

"If it's a super-advanced robot, why does it turn back into a piece of crap Camaro?"

"I want to ride you home... I mean, I want to give you a ride home."

"Bumblebee, stop lubricating on that man!"

Jazz: "You want a piece of me, Megatron?"
Megatron: "No... I want TWO!"
(Megatron rips Jazz in half. The black guy ALWAYS dies."

(Barricade slams Shia Labeouf onto a car and whips out his blades.)
"ARE YOU USER LADIESMAN217!?!?!?"

Army Man 1: "Where's your wallet!?"
Army Man 2: "POCKET!!!"
Army Man 1: "Which pocket!?"
Army Man 2: "MY BACK POCKET!!!"
Army Man 1: "You've got ten back pockets!"
Army Man 2: "LEFT CHEEK! LEFT CHEEK! LEFT CHEEK!"

There were some drawbacks, though. First was that the Decepticons didn't learn English until the end of the movie and just made annoying noises to communicate.
Second was that it used every action movie cliche. Oh well.

Third was that Bumblebee couldn't talk, and just used the radio. Annoying.

Fourth was that nothing obeyed the Law of Conservation of Mass. A Camaro turning into a 30-foot tall robot? A robot head the size of a melon turning into a cell phone? A 100 cubic foot box transforming into a 1 cubic foot box? Didn't make much sense, but it looked awesome, so I don't care.
(It's animated. Click on it.)
God, that better not be copyright infringement.
P.S. Ironhide is the Tooth Fairy. Pass it on, bitches.
P.S.S. Happy 7/7/07, you sick fucks. You know who you are. That song and dancing girl are now forever imprinted on my brain. Thanks a lot.

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