Suck It, England

It's Independence Day. Holy Jesus. I... Don't give a shit.

Sorry, I know I'm supposed to barbecue and go see fireworks and listen to the Boston Pops and wave a flag and go to parades and all that junk, but, no, I'm not gonna.

You wanna know how I celebrated Independence Day? I watched Crash, sat by a lake and read a book about insults, watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and walked three miles on a treadmill while listening to Bill Moyers. A perfectly normal boring day in my life.

I really don't understand patriotism. I mean, I enjoy living in this country, I suppose, but I don't get so damn excited over it. I don't get that feeling inside of "America the Beautiful" and all that bunk. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I don't live in Mexico or Uzbekistan or something, but it seems too close to blind nationalism. And you know what inevitably happens when America is at it's most patriotic? A war. All the time. A lot of people today probably remember at least part of the Cold War. Weren't we such good Americans back then? Don't we all rally behind 9/11 now?

How am I supposed to respect, admire, and adore a country when it's leader waves a finger and saves one of his loyal toads from jail? I mean, how arrogant can you get? "I respect the jury, but I'm going to make them suck my balls and my buddy Scooter don't have to go to jail no more nucular 9/11 hispanos Iraq misunderestimate support the troops September 11 food on your family."

I really hate that man. I hope someone slowly and painfully removes his eyelids with white-hot toenail clippers and makes him stare into a bright light while they drop lemon juice on his eyes and have insects eat him alive.

As for Cheney, I think the only way to get rid of him is with a stake through the heart, right? Or is it a silver bullet? I always get confused.

So what have we learned today? I'm not patriotic, I hate the current regieme, and if I ever got in a fight with a supernatural creature I'd be fucked because I don't know the special ways to kill them.

Oh well. Good thing they're not real.